OK so I don’t claim to be Liz Wiseman, Simon Sinek or Bill Walsh, but I have in my time had my own experiences of leadership in many different ways over the years. Leadership is an intrinsic part of teamwork, hence why it’s relevant here.

So here we go – in no particular order as they are all important – my tips on leadership:

Go first

It’s not called leadership for nothing. Sometimes it’s you that has to go first – lead the way, show your people what to do by example. These are the moments where you really earn your coin. The return on you taking a potential risk by doing this is immense in terms of the positive effect on morale, trust and engagement within your team.

Stand up for your people

Sometimes it’s your job to stand up for your people – even at the expense of your own position. It’s that important. Obviously there’s an awful lot of ‘but’ that can go with this and every situation is different, but as a leader you must be prepared to defend your team when necessary. Be principled, be hounourable, and take a stand.

Don’t assume

Try to have as many of the facts at your disposal before jumping to conclusions about anything. OK so most of the time you may not have all the facts, and have to make judgement calls without them, but don’t do so before you have tried to find them.

Be consistent

There’s nothing worse than bosses who say one thing then do another, or don’t fulfill promises. Be consistent in how you act, how you ask people to behave and follow through on what you promise. This will build trust – a cornerstone of good teamwork.

Always listen to both sides of the argument

When someone comes to you with an issue or a point, make sure you understand the other side of the coin before you act. It’s very easy to be swayed by one person’s impression or opinion, especially if it sounds convincing, comes from someone you trust or you are tempted to accept because it’s the easy route. You have to make sure you’ve covered every angle so you can make a fair judgement and act, confident that you have covered every viewpoint.

Be prepared to make unpopular decisions

Leadership is not a popularity contest. You will at times have to make a decision that won’t go down well with those that it impacts. What’s the difference between the right decision and the popular decision? The right decision is right all of the time, the popular decision is right some of the time. As a leader, it’s guaranteed that at some point you will make decisions that people won’t like. It comes with the job.

Get to know your team

One of the biggest signs of job misery is anonymity (check out Pat Lencioni’s book on this). You don’t have to be everyone’s friend – far from it, see the next point – but it is absolutely your job to take a personal interest in the people you lead. Don’t underestimate how important a few simple questions about someone’s family, hobby or problem they are facing are. Showing a genuine interest in the answer is a given; acting as a result on what they say will win you followers rather than subordinates.

Walk the fine line between friend and boss

In the old days there were formal lines between bosses and their team, with very clear delineation between roles. Those days are gone and it’s far more productive now for leaders to strike up friendships with their team members. But once you become too close with someone you someday may need to discipline or ask them to do something they don’t want to do, your authority could be compromised and your position undermined. It’s a fine line, and the line is in different places with each person and each situation. But walk on the right side of it – and don’t cross it.

Find out what motivates your team

A boss of mine once asked me in our first meeting together ‘what motivates you’? Do you know what motivates each person you manage? Not everyone is motivated the same way – and don’t make the assumption that everyone is motivated by more money. You’d be surprised what you find out, and can use to get the best out of people. Once you know what makes your people tick, you can use this (in a good way) to keep them happy, driven and productive.

Become a master of the art of the question

It is very tempting for leaders to fall into an old trap of being the one with all the answers. Throw this idea out and replace it with being the one who has all the questions. The know it all leader should be consigned to the scrap heap of leadership history. Using questions is such a powerful tool in your leadership arsenal. Uncover the expertise of people around you, and if you will get more buy-in if people answer questions rather than just telling them to do stuff.

Listen

So many leaders don’t listen. This is one of the biggest failings I have seen, and it’s one of the best tools in the box. Don’t be tempted into the trap of doing all the talking. Ask lots of questions as I have said above, but most importantly, listen to the responses. Concentrate and give the person talking the respect they deserve of your attention.

Allow people to make mistakes

If people feel they cannot make a mistake, they will be frozen into inactivity, fearing the consequences of getting things wrong. It’s far better that people feel able to take a bit of a risk, or make a decision without overly worrying about the consequence. OK they can’t keep making the same mistakes, and they certainly cannot make one by design, but I have always said it’s OK to make a mistake once. It’s incredibly empowering and also demonstrates the trust you have in your people, which will be repaid in their trust back in you.

When you need to give feedback, give it.

So many leaders shy away from giving feedback, especially if it’s going to be unpopular, and it’s very tempting to hide behind emails or not give it at all. This is one of the areas where leaders earn the extra money or other perks they receive – by giving feedback when it needs to be given. And when you do give feedback…

Do feedback right.

This is a whole topic we don’t have time for here, but here’s some basic principles. Whenever possible, do it in person, and do it often. Don’t neglect giving people positive feedback – sometimes bosses take for granted the good work being done around them, and only give negative or what should be called improvement feedback. A pat on the back and a simple ‘well done’ can go a long way. And if you have to give improvement feedback, have all the facts prepared in advance. Think through how the conversation will go and plan how you will handle the person’s response before you start. Don’t let your emotions rule the conversation – remain calm. Listen to their side of the story. And conclude with a positive, forward looking action plan.

Reinforce the context

I am constantly amazed by how so many people panic and worry over the slightest thing. A classic and frequent example I have seen too often – people getting worked up because a delegate at an event didn’t have a name badge. Really? It’s a name badge. No one is losing an arm. OK, if you are in a war or an operating theatre it’s a bit different but most of us are lucky that we don’t work in an environment where lives are on the line. What’s the worst that is going to happen? Let’s be realistic when people think they need to panic or get worked up – your job as a leader is to rein things in and put them into the context that they belong in.

Be the CRO

Every leader needs to make sure that the team knows why they are doing what they are doing. Seek every opportunity you can to be the CRO – the Chief Reminding Officer – to remind people why you are asking them to do what they are doing. Make sure they are connected to the purpose of why your team exists and what it is there to achieve. You cannot do this often enough. Repeat, reinforce, remind.

Stay calm

One of the books that had the most impact on my life is ‘The Chimp Paradox’ by Dr. Steve Peters. It explains how our conscious human mind is always battling our inner chimp – the emotional remnants of our animal past. (A prime example is road rage – that’s the chimp at work). You need to not lose it. Remain calm, stay human, and don’t descend into adrenalin fueled, damaging arguments or knee jerk decisions because you have let your inner chimp take over.

Don’t radiate panic

If you haven’t managed to keep things in context (and don’t worry – it happens – we are human after all) and you are panicking, don’t show it. Your mood as the leader is highly infectious and people are watching you for guidance, especially if the pressure is on. Don’t run – either actually or figuratively speaking – and portray an outer image of calm, even if you are paddling like mad under the surface. If you panic, your people will jump on that roller coaster with you.

Check in with your people frequently

Another tactic that should be consigned to the leadership scrap heap is the annual review. Let me rephrase that – it’s OK to have an annual review but not if that’s the only time you check in with your people. You should be doing it frequently, and often. Like weekly or fortnightly. You don’t have to have a long formal meeting every week, but a 5 or 10 minute focused chat to make sure they are OK and moving in the right direction. If you only ask three questions in the check-in, here’s my best three: ‘How are you?’ ‘What are you focusing on this week?’ and ‘How can I help you do what you need to do?’

Be supportive of the good people who leave your team

It’s a sad day when a good person leaves your team. If you have explored why they want to go and there’s nothing you can do to keep them, then don’t resist. Support their future and wish them well – be thankful for the contribution they made, and keep them in your network –you never know what they will go on to do.

And finally…

Do unto others as you would have done to you.

This is called the golden rule. It’s a fundamental question that is common to every major religion the world has ever seen. It’s so simple but so effective. At the end of the day, if you remember nothing else about leadership, always treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.